Reckon?

I get up from my desk, the place I spend 80% of my life, I turn to see how big my butt has gotten before I venture out into the main area of my work. As I make my way through the minefield of all men who are forever swatting, pinching, tripping and trapping me as I try my best to make it to the bathroom door, I hear this....

I seen one
Reckon why?
U'ont to?
I bedog
pertinear
HEAH!
I swunnie..
Aw-ightden
dadnabit
yerderntootin
I heerd that
Melk
done did it
youaughtto

Then as I pass back through, I watch them all pull out the garbage cans and spit their tobacco, smell their farts as I pick up speed to get out of the war zone and I wonder....I am from the south also but they have supper at night and I have dinner, they drink coke and I drink soda! All we have in common is "ya'll" and "fixin". Is this misuse of words ignorance or is it southern charm....